Today’s post is a short short I wrote for Elspet’s birthday last Friday June 21st. She was 864 years old. It doesn’t appear in the Witches of Fawsetwood nor the Priestess of Heppeshaw, though it is contemporaneous with both.
A Woman’s Vision
I idolized my mother. She was the greatest priestess of Heppeshaw, though I was never allowed to watch her create magic or ritual. Still, I knew from all the others she was the best and that made me proud. I wanted to be the best like her, at everything, but she would not teach me magic. I learned some from Margot who was bailiff at Fawsetwood Cottage and other bits from my best friend Alain who was apprenticed to both Margot and Andrew, our most powerful priest.
Normally a young witch learns bibs and bobs growing up and at 12 they have a visioning ritual after which they are allowed in to the 8 holy day circles. When they have matured in that magic they are allowed in the Moon Circles. My mother said I was too young even after I was 13. But at the Samhain after my June Solstice birthday, Margot set my visioning despite my mother’s decree. I was worried about that but I was mad for the visioning.
We were at Heppeshaw Stone Circle with all the other witches in the shire. Most of the people were celebrating the tryst of crone and dark lord with dance and drink and sweets or rolling in the hayfields under their cloaks to join the priestess and her consort who made love in the Wicker Bower. The children, the people who had no partners, the older or infirm were back at their Lady Houses telling stories or enjoying each other’s company as friends. They had food and drink too. The Fawsetwood witches had my favorite honey cakes.
Alain was off somewhere. He had started the evening at the bard’s fire circle singing and playing his fipple flute. Goddess knew where he might end up. I didn’t care. My mother was out with her mystery priest. After all her ranting against men and marriage I couldn’t believe they were up to anything. I thought they were probably singing with Alain, though to tell the truth she did not seem to approve of Alain anymore. She kept sending him off on foolish errands every time we thought to talk or play a game together. I dismissed all that from my head to wheedle a story out of Margot, something that went with the season. Instead, she called me over to bring her ale and to take one for myself. I thought that was odd. I wasn’t allowed ale except with a meal. Usually, I drank water or hot tea made with herbs from the garden or woods.
“Thank yer dear. Here give me yours too.” She stirred some dried herbs into my ale. I didn’t like ale very much. Too long in the keg, it was often bitter. Maybe these dried flowers would make it better.
“Elspet, I think tis time fer your visionin’. What do yer think?” My mouth dropped open.
“Now? Without me old Lass? She has agreed?”
“She dinnae have ta agree. I be her teacher as well as yours. But yer must agree. Do yer wish ta have yer women’s vision?”
Well, I did of course. My birthday was at MidSommer, the longest day of the year. My mother had delayed me a year and almost a half. Andrew as Man in Black and priest, brought a burning bowl filled with visioning herbs, lit it by the fire and set it down near a pallet laid out next to Margot’s wagon. Mary and Harry and my Aunt Glenna were there to witness.
I snuggled down on my pallet while someone settled a woven coverlet over me. I felt too warm, but I had heard the body chills when the soul goes flying so I trusted them to protect me. The last thing I remember was Andrew leaning on his staff, the one with the powerful crystal on it that nearly killed him once, because he used it at the Battle of Alnwick. I didn’t understand that either but I knew he wasn’t right. Not really. On this night he stood vigil for me.
“Breathe in the smoke of the burning bowl, Elspet. Pull it in. Deep breaths all the way to your toes. Good girl.” Margot intoned in a singsong voice. I followed her voice and the smoke, then sunk deeper into the pallet.
Suddenly I was no longer in Heppeshaw. The forest around me was unfamiliar. I turned all around looking for any key about this forest. Maybe it wasn’t even on this earth. I didn’t know. I was in a clearing. Paths extended out into the denser oak trees. I heard someone off the trails crashing through the undergrowth. A white stag with a crown of white antlers emerged from the woods and tossed a dead branch aside rather than step over it. He caught up ground ivy and dry golden oak leaves in his crown when he tossed the branch. He looked more regal and dangerous with the adornment on his 10 point antlers. I feared him and scampered up a rise to look back. My hooves slipped on the dewy grass. Hooves? I glanced down and then over my shoulder. I was a red deer. A doe? Did he have some intention toward me?
A man entered the clearing, at first unaware of either of us. The stag leaned back in the shadows, unseen by the intruder. My heart beat harder. I was in the open if he looked up. The man carried a bow. I wanted to cry out, “Nae! I be a girl!” but I could not speak. I looked at his swarthy face, dark hair and eyes. His brows crawled across his forehead. Which was the greater danger?
My eyes caught the stag’s, and I saw only the greatest love there. I trembled and resettled my skin on my body, flicking my tail nervously. That slight movement signaled my presence to the man. I thought I had seen him before, maybe in a dream. He nocked an arrow in place and raised the bow slowly, so as not to spook me. He had no way to know I could read his thoughts as clearly as any other hunter. But this time I was the prey. I wanted to run but was frozen in place. I stared him down, quivering doe defying the hunter. Any moment he would loose the arrow and I would die.
Suddenly the stag lept from the shadows straight at the man, head lowered. He raked the man’s arm with his antlers to pull the bow away and send it careening into the brush. He raised on his hindlegs to trample the hunter who ran away as fast as he could. The stag followed him down the path, then returned when he was sure the man was gone. He found the bow where it had landed and pounded it angrily with both front hooves until it was in small pieces. Then he turned for one last loving gaze and disappeared into the forest. I looked down at my hands and saw I was again a woman. He had seen me human and loved me still. I clambered down into the clearing again but could not see where he had gone, my protector. And then I loved him too. A bell chimed three times. It paused and chimed again. I was to return to the fire by our Lady House. I thought I had been gone a long time. Margot’s hand was on mine as she called my name. My eyes flickered
“Elspet.” I shook my head that was not my name. He had called me something else. The stag. He had said something in my head. “Toujours. Tu es ma dolce, Elise. Toujours et demain.” Elise. Sweet Elise. It was a French form of Elspet, meaning set aside by the Gods. Always and tomorrow. What did that mean?
“Ground, Elspet. Seek th’ earth with your heart. Yer t’were very far ‘way.” I nodded. The forest was very far away. Here in this earth but far away.
“Will yer speak your vision?”
I felt their expectation I would. But no, not all of it. Not the white stag nor what he said.
“I twas in a forest far away an’ turned inta a red deer, alone in th’ woods. A hunter came inta th’ clearin’ an’ I ran up on a wee hill. I be scairt an’ trembled. He saw that small movement an’ raised his bow ta me, as if ta harvest me. I wanted ta run but couldnae. He be frightenin’. Swarthy, black hair, a beetle brow. He held off loosing th’ arrow an’ I stared him down. I wanted ta say ‘I be a woman no’ a deer.’ But I couldnae speak. Then I thought I twas in more danger if he ken I be a woman. He stayed his hand, dropped his bow an’ ran ‘way. I broke th’ bow. Then I heard a bell chime tethra times. Twas that yer?”
“Twas Andrew. He chimed th’ bell tri times tri.”,
“I dinnae hear th’ first yan. But I struggled back on th’ tethra.”
Mary pressed watered ale on me. “Ya need ta drink.”
As I sipped, I looked across the clearing at Andrew.
Across the clearing? I met his eyes and saw the same steady loving gaze. What did that mean? Was he my protector? He smiled softly and I heard that voice again “Hold th’ rest ta yoursell, Elise.” I nodded several times as if going back over the vision. “That twas all.” I said to them.
“That be a strong vision. Tis good yer stood th’ hunter down. He be a man we ken, I trow. We will take care he dinnae hear of this nor find yer.” Margot responded. I had shielded the rest. She did not know! How extraordinary! She paused and looked at me carefully. I showed her the picture of the man and of me as the red deer in my mind.
“Be there also a red stag?” she asked
“No.” I answered truthfully. “No red stag.” She was satisfied. I held this secret nearly all my life, but I took it out in my mind and examined it as I had need. That hunter man grew stronger in presence and danger. Andrew showed himself my protector more than once. But even knowing all that, no one knew what would happen.
What a marvelous scene!